Because of my integrity to read JP's blog only day by day, I found today that she actually didn't title her blog entries. Sigh...so, I'm back on my own when it comes to subject and direction for my own entries...sigh again...Wait, not sigh. I can do this!
No, it's not my birthday...the honor belongs to my now 27 year old cousin Mark Jones, a recent graduate from Le Cordon Bleu Culinary School, Los Angeles. Believe you me, I have had many a decadent meal complements of his talent and schooling. YUMMM!! This time last year, I was a month into my move to Fresno and since he was just a train ride away, I went down to celebrate and had a MOST memorable time...and I'll leave it right there. TeeHee... This was the first of many train rides and now plane rides I've made to LA to spend time with he and his awesome girlfriend, Z. Last I saw them, it was actually the weekend before my birthday, my 30th birthday. **cue horror music**
As bad as it hasn't been to be 30, it's been a real kick in the pants to my opera hopes and dreams. In the world of classical voice, a "Young Artist" is considered to be in the 18-35 age range. Well, over the past few years, go figure, this margin has decreased to around 30-32. As in, the Metropolitan Opera national competition used to have an age limit of 33, it's now 30 and a 1/2. This past January I was deciding whether or not to do the competition despite the fact that I vowed to myself three years ago that I would do it every year I was eligible. Considering the fact that I will still be nice and 30 for the coming year's competition, guess what? My birthday is outside of the 30 and a 1/2 cut off by like two months. Sooooo disappointing. The good news is that I went ahead and did the auditions and WON at the district level. As for Regional, I completely chocked. Couldn't get the voice out of my body. One judge said, "If you can't sing in Memphis, how are you going to sing in New York?" As offended as I initially was at this comment, this was probably the single most helpful feedback ever!
Why in the heck would I be scared to sing, AKA so nervous that the voice hides, like literally, under my spleen and behind my lanrynx? No reason whatsoever!! I will breathe and my voice will bellow out. No fear. No hiding. My slate of auditions/competitions for the season is decided. I'll include a list of them in my post on the 28th. JP gave me the day off tommorow. Hold me accountable, darling readers!! In most cases, these will be my last shot to win career-enabling money and exposure. No time for nerves. I have some big impressions to make...
My mom isn't doing well today... Pain. Swollen legs. Falls. Only wants to sleep. Time is of the essence for the both of us...Tic. Toc...
Question of the day: We all should have faith that everything happens for a reason it its own sweet and perfect time. But in reality, are there timers running down in your world that could stunt, if not cancel your dreams?
Yes! For me it's the worry of being able to have children. Yes, I'm "only" 28 but both my Mother and Grandmother had tough pregnancies and births. My Mom had preeclampsia (think ridiculously high blood pressure, seizures and hemorrhaging) and therefore I was born at only 28 weeks (out of a recommended 42 from what I hear). I had a 0% chance to live and hers wasn't much better.
ReplyDeleteAfter gaining weight slowly but surely since I was about 19 and not really being able to get it off - I finally decided to go the doctor and get it all figured out. Turns out I have Hashimoto's disease ( Hashimoto's disease ) and for God knows how long it went untreated. This all lead to high cholesterol, blood sugar and tryglicerides - mostly of no fault of my own (minus my faulty immune system). Because of this, at 28, my bloodwork is worse than my 101 year old Grandma.
So, as much as I hate taking all these prescriptions, watching EVERY little thing I eat, and making sure I exercise as much as possible, my health is getting SO much better because of it.
My timer, then, is will I be able to get healthy enough to get, and stay, pregnant and have a healthy baby (or 3 - our wish!!)before I get too "old" for even more health risks?
The answer is yes, God willing! :)
If I can do this - so can you!
Sending my love daily from Wyoming,
Laine
I had forgotten how magical sisterhood is until I read this post and Laine's beautiful comment. I miss you, girls. But I am so, so blessed to know that we're all still holding hands across the distance and uplifting each other toward our dreams.
ReplyDeleteWow, ladies!! I'm blown away!!
ReplyDeleteLaine - I completely understand the "having babies" struggle. I went through a similar situation when I was married, but now I know it was for the best. You have strength for the journey and grace to see it through. I can't wait for the day you bring your healthy baby(ies) into the world. I will celebrate with you heartily!
Audra - I am so overwhelmed at the fact that it has been my SAI sisters who have once again circled around me and supported this blog. I almost forgot about the richness of sisterhood too. But I'm so glad that all of you have reminded me...
LOVE AND ROSES!!!!!!